Sun, 3-Jun-2012

This is now 4 days in a row with basically being a loner.  Today there was no real reason why we shouldn't have gone to church.  In fact, the kids and I were ready early to go, dressed and all and at the last minute, I didn't want to go.  No real reason.  Not depressed.  Not in a self-pity mode or anything, just still feeling drained, and really didn't want to get out into the heat and really see people or talk to anyone.

I did a lot of sleeping today and I mean a lot.  Didn't really do much up until about 5 pm, when the kids reminded me that I promised we would go to the park this evening.  Both my kids are extroverts and they have a low level introvert mom.  If my kids could have activities every day, they would but apparently for me, that's just way too much.

So, about 6 pm, we went to the park for 2.5 hrs.  It was really nice outside and very green at the park we went to.  It was actually more a community development park than a public park.  There is a lake there, lots of green grass and trees, basketball court, playground, large gated community pool and the YMCA just on the other side of the parking lot.  I just sat and listened to music for an hour and then saw that my phone had 6 voicemails.  Wow!  I didn't even know I had 1 voicemail.

Anyway, guess I haven't checked for nearly a week and didn't know I had any.  Been really out of it.  Life as a single mom with hardly any mommy right now and too many social over commitments has really left me mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually drained.  Clearing my social calendar for the month of June to just recuperate and recharge.

Today eating has been pretty good, minus the bowl of Frosted Flakes (small bowl) that I had for dinner.  I was too lazy to make anything and the protein smoothie I made for dinner wasn't enough.  There was only enough for 1 serving of moussaka and 1 serving of Indian Beef Veggie Curry each and I allowed the children to eat those.  We have plenty of food at home, but ran out of eggs, which is what I normally use as a quick meal, but couldn't do that tonight.

Everything else required defrosting and a lot more effort - well, not a lot, but at least chopping, cutting, waiting. It was much easier to just pour a bowl of cereal (didn't realize we had any Frosted Flakes, but it was in the cupboard) than it is to do the rest when you don't feel up to it.  My body is physically very drained, despite all the sleep I got today.

Tomorrow I start back at my workouts and I will incorporate a Finisher to whatever workout I choose to do.  This one will be by Funk Roberts, but where I learned about Finisher moves to finish out a workout to depletion is via Scott Colby.  Those are always killers.  I think the word "Finisher" really means that it finishes you off where there is absolutely nothing left of you.

Anyway, my eating today was:
Breakfast - eggs with mozzarella cheese
Lunch - moussaka
Dinner - protein smoothie w/kale, 4 squares 85% dark chocolate and a 1/2 bowl of Frosted Flakes with unsweetened coconut milk

Been drinking water when I've been awake.

My kids and I had a very nice time at the park.  Sat in the shade mostly and it was so beautifully green.  It wasn't too hot and God provided a gentle breeze.  Peaceful.  Glad we got out and that I wanted to honor my commitment to my kids.